How to Live a Happy Life
How to Live a Happy Life
“Very
little is needed to make a happy life; it is all within yourself, in your way
of thinking.”
Marcus Aurelius
Marcus Aurelius
“If you
want happiness for an hour — take a nap.
If you want happiness for a day — go fishing.
If you want happiness for a year — inherit a fortune.
If you want happiness for a lifetime — help someone else.”
Chinese Proverb
If you want happiness for a day — go fishing.
If you want happiness for a year — inherit a fortune.
If you want happiness for a lifetime — help someone else.”
Chinese Proverb
Saying no is often the easier way out.
When you
say no you can safely stay within your comfort zone. You don’t have to fear
failing or being rejected.
The scary unknown and sometimes difficult
change can be avoided.
But
if you say yes your life can expand and deepen. The yes allows you to open up
your life to more happiness.
Today I would like to share 10 things that I have said yes to
and that have helped me to become happier in my life.
Pick
one of these that resonate the most with you and focus on making it a part of
your life.
10 Things to Say Yes to Starting Today
1. The things that make
you come alive.
It is
important to find some time and energy for the things that you feel makes you
come alive.
How to do it:
Mix it up.
Try
something new, even if it is just something small each week.
§ Eat the
vegetarian dish at lunch if you always eat meat.
§ Listen
to some music that isn’t your normal cup of tea.
§ Go out
to a movie, café or pub with friends if you usually stay in at night. Or vice
versa.
Create
variation and expand your comfort zone regularly in small ways to live a
happier life.
Reconnect with what you
used to love if it has fallen by the wayside.
If you
used to go fishing, paint or play the guitar and it really made you come alive
then reconnect.
Use an
hour for it this week and see if it still brings you joy and makes you come
alive.
2. Being
imperfect.
Trying
to be perfect is setting the bar too high. It will be impossible to reach.
And so you’ll lower your
self-esteem. You may not feel very happy about how things are going in your
life.
Even
though they might be going very well indeed.
Perfectionism
is mindset that eats at you and your happiness. Saying yes to being imperfect
can turn that around.
How to do
it:
Realize
the costs of buying into myths of perfection.
By
watching too many movies, listening to too many songs and just taking in what
the world is telling you it is very easy to be lulled into dreams of
perfection.
It
sounds so good and wonderful and you want it.
But in real life it clashes with reality and
it can harm or possibly lead you to end relationships, jobs, projects etc. just
because your expectations are out of this world.
I find
it very helpful to remind myself of this simple fact.
Go for good enough.
Aiming
for perfection usually winds up in a project or something else very slowly or
never being finished.
So go
for good enough instead.
Don’t
use it as an excuse to slack off. But simply realize that there is something
called good enough and when you are there then you are finished with whatever
you are doing.
3. Being you.
Not
being able to be yourself, always trying to change for others or censoring
yourself don’t feel good at all.
It
makes life feel so small and limited.
So how
can you be yourself? Your environment plays a huge part.
How to do it:
Supportive people.
Spend
more time with the people who support your dreams, values and you. Or are at
least neutral.
And
spend less time with people who always criticize you or you simply aren’t a
good fit for.
Supportive and
life-expanding influences outside of your everyday life.
Change
your environment not only close to you. Go further and spend more time with
sources of information that supports your dreams and can give you information
that expands and makes your life happier and more exciting.
Find
support from people you have never met via books, movies, blogs, forums and
music.
And
spend less time with negative and limiting influences.
4. Turning negative
self-talk around.
It is
very important to keep your motivation and your self-esteem up to live a
happier life.
Your
inner critic may be one of biggest obstacles standing in your way of that.
If you
make a mistake or fail, if someone criticizes you or if you are just getting
tired then that small inner voice can become louder and louder and drag and
keep you down.
It can
tell you that you are stupid or lazy. That you will not succeed. That you are
worse or uglier than someone else.
Being
able to turn the inner critic around or to shut it up as soon as it pops up is
a very helpful skill.
How to do it:
Say stop.
Simply
create a stop word or stop-phrase that you say or shout in your mind whenever
your critic pipes up with a distorted and self-esteem hurting thought.
Say:
Stop!
Or: No,
no, no, we are not going there again!
Explain to yourself what
this will lead to over the next year or more.
As I
mentioned in tip #1, reminding yourself of the cost of buying into myths of
perfection is a powerful way to replace those thought habits.
This works very well for other self-esteem hurting thought
patterns too.
Remind
yourself of how the inner critic has shaped your life so far. And in your mind
see the cost of letting it roam free for another year or five.
5. Saying
no when you feel it is the right thing for you to do.
To
have the time and energy to say yes to the most important things you have to
say no to some things too.
How to do
it:
What do I
truly want to focus my time and energy on?
When
you get an offer or an opportunity arises ask yourself this question.
When
you look over your schedule ask yourself this question. Think about and look at
what your top priorities are and what you deep want before you say anything.
Disarm and
then state your need.
It
becomes easier for people to accept your no if you disarm them first.
You
could for example do that by honestly saying that you are flattered or that you
appreciate the kind offer.
Then you, for instance, add that you do not
have the time for accepting and doing what they want. Or say that you do not
feel that this offer is a good fit for your life right now.
6. Optimism.
Pessimism
can really limit your life and bring it to a standstill.
It can
make it feel like there's no point in trying because it won’t make a difference
or you’ll just fail. It can create ceilings and walls made out of glass where
there really are none.
Saying
yes a more optimistic way of thinking can on the other hand open your life up.
How to do it:
Ask yourself optimistic
questions.
When
you’re in what seems like a negative situation then make something better out
of it by asking yourself questions that promote optimism and helps you to find
solutions.
Questions
like:
§ What is
one thing that is positive or good about this situation?
§ What is
the opportunity within this situation?
Start your day off on the
right foot.
As
mentioned in tip #2, the influences in your life can make a huge difference.
So
choose to spend your breakfast time with an optimistic influence like for
example a book, a blog or your mom.
Or talk
to someone early in the day that most often supports and cheers you up like a
co-worker or a friend in school.
7.
Forgiveness.
Not
clinging to the past and to the hurt that is there but to let it go and look to
the now and the future is an essential thing to find more happiness in your
life.
Forgiving
is not always easy and can take time but there are some things that can make it
a little easier.
How to do
it:
Remind
yourself that you forgive for your own benefit.
As
long as you don’t forgive someone you are linked to that person. Your thoughts
will return to the person who wronged you and what he or she did over and over
again.
The
emotional link between the two of you is so strong and inflicts much suffering
in you and – as a result of your inner turmoil – most often in other people
around you too.
When
you forgive you do not only release the other person. You set yourself free from
all of that agony too.
Make a
habit of forgiving yourself.
Do
not just forgive others but also yourself. By forgiving yourself – instead of
resenting yourself for something you did a week or 10 years ago – you make the
habit of forgiveness more and more of a natural part of you.
And
so forgiving others becomes easier too.
8. Making
someone else happy.
Making
someone else happier has many benefits. The happiness spreads back to you as
you see his or her face light up and as you know you did the right thing.
It
spreads back to you as people have a strong tendency to want to give back when
you have done something good for them.
And
it spreads out into the world as that now happier person may spread his or her
happiness to other people.
How to do
it:
Help out
practically.
Lend
someone a hand when they are moving. Or give them a ride in your car. Or if
they need information, try to find a solution by asking the people you know or
via Google.
Just
listen.
Sometime
a friend or someone close to you may just want to vent or for someone to listen
as he or she figures things out. It may not seem like much but it can be an
immense help for someone who needs it.
So
be there fully – don’t sit there thinking about something else – and listen.
9.
Openness and growth.
Saying yes to being open to the good things in
life and growing as a person plays a big role when it comes to happiness.
The
other things in this article will help you with that. But here are two more
tips that will make your journey a little easier and simpler.
How to do
it:
Change one
thing at a time.
Changing
many things or your whole life at once sure sounds good. But willpower is
something we often overestimate and everyday life tends to come in the way.
So
to make sure you have a much better chance of changing a habit or area of your
life change just one thing at a time.
Start
small.
Just
say no to one small thing you don’t want to do this week. Or forgive one person
for one thing. Or help and make someone happy in some small way.
Take just one small step
outside of your comfort zone.